Confessions of a happy wife (& expectant Mom!) by Flamingo Girl

I haven't posted here in a VERY long time. Needless to say I've had the baby, a gorgeous amazing little girl born New Year's morning under a blue moon. I love being a mom. In fact I love it so much I've decided to change my username and I"ve bought a new url. You can see my new blog at http://bluemoonmama.com and you get to see all the cute baby photos too!

Not abandoned just busy.

Thought I'd make a quick drive by posting. All is great but I'm incredibly busy with our move to a new rental house. So much to do, so much to pack and at nearly 6 months pregnant I just don't have enough energy! We'll survive somehow.  Can't wait to get into the new house and I'll be sure to post pictures as soon as we're unpacked! Hopefully sometime before the baby is born, lol. Family & friends have been badgering me for a baby registry so I started one on Amazon, here's the link: baby registry . Had another ultrasound and all is till going well with our little girl. Can hardly wait until she arrives!! Okay, gotta get back to the packing. Miss you all!

We're having a.....

  ...HAPPY BABY!!! We had our 20 week ultrasound a few days ago and much to our surprise the technician gave us a 3D photo of the baby's face. In the photo our baby was smiling. It was just adorable! The smile is completely my husband's and we both fell in love with the baby immediately. At that point it didn't matter to us at all anymore if the baby was going to be a boy or girl. All that mattered was that it was a part of us and we couldn't wait to meet him or her. A few moments later though the technician got the "money shot" and announced we were having a little girl, at which point I started crying. We were both just overwhelmed with happiness. The baby was dancing and wiggling and smiling on the screen and it was absolutely one of the best moments of our lives. I worried when we decided to start trying to have a baby if it was the right thing to do even though it's something we both always thought we wanted. We've been married nearly 5 years, ages 36 and 42, and are both fairly set in our ways so it was a little worrisome that maybe having a baby would just add stress or we'd realize we weren't really parental types. Probably lots of people who wait to have their children until later in life have these thoughts. It's hard sometimes to step out of your comfort zone and upset the status quo. From the moment I got pregnant though all those thoughts vanished. We definitely made the right choice and regardless of all the work and stress that may come with having a child, the joy and love is 10,000 times more overwhelming.

   I hope for the baby's sake that they guessed the sex correctly otherwise there is going to be a sweet little boy wearing a lot of pink! My husband had to rush out and buy a couple of pink outfits and a blanket. I'm keeping the tags on just in case though :). 

   So here's the photo of our little girl wearing a smile like daddy's. Right now she most closely resembles an elf which is appropriate since she's going to be a Christmas baby :). We're totally in love with her!

An innie or an outie?

Since the moment I conceived my husband and I have been dying to know whether the baby will be a boy or girl. Frankly, it's been driving me a bit crazy. I'm not a patient person by nature so waiting for anything is hard for me. And I've got to admit we had a preference; a girl. For some reason each of us has always wanted a daughter and when we married and began talking of children we both hoped that our first would be a girl. We each have nephews but there are no little girls in the immediate family and we're the last that will be having children in our generation so if our parents are going to have a granddaugher it's up to us to produce one. It would just be so fun for everyone to finally be able to buy dolls and cute little girl clothes. All my life, whenever I imagined having a child, I was imagining having a daughter. A few years ago when my hubby had me visit a psychic as part of my birthday present she even told me that we'd have a daughter first. So when I got pregnant we were both desperately hoping the baby would be a girl. I even kept refering to the baby as a girl (and my family does as well) and then I'd feel guilty because it could just as easily be a boy. Actually it's probably more likely to be a boy considering all of our siblings have had sons and John's parents produced two boys before having their first daughter. Genetics seems to be against us.

A strange shift seems to have happened in the last month or so. I was really worried in the beginning that I'd be unhappy if we found out we were having a boy first (not that we hate boys, we just had our hearts set on a daughter first). Now that the baby has become a real little person inside of me, I really don't care as much whether it's a boy or a girl. I know it's a cliche to say but all I really really want is to have a healthy, happy baby (and an easy delivery!!! :) ).  My fears of being disappointed have abated and I know that no matter what I'm going to adore this baby. We are just so blessed to be having one at all. Each child is a miracle and I know that we'll get exactly what is right for us. I definitely wouldn't mind a little boy just like my husband, so a son will be just as wonderful as a daughter.

I'll be having my 20 week ultrasound on Aug. 6th and we'll hopefully find out then if the baby is a boy or a girl. I just can't wait!!! We've been holding off on buying baby things until we know which we're having and I'm just so excited to finally know and begin creating a nursery. I think my nesting instincts are starting to kick in. Of course knowing my luck the baby will be camera shy and we still won't be able to tell the sex. That would be such a disappointment. I'm sooooo ready to know! It seems really hard to find unisex baby things right now and I'm REALLY ready to start shopping :).

When do the cravings start?

Today I forgot to eat breakfast and ate two small slices of a frozen pizza for lunch before putting the rest away for left overs. In the past I'd often eat 3/4ths of the frozen pizza by myself and then pick the cheese off the left over slices which is just one example of how I've gotten myself up to a size 28. I was expecting that with pregnancy I'd be starving morning noon and night, gobbling up anything and everything in sight and gaining even more massive quantities of weight. Weirdly enough, since becoming pregnant I'm not even a 10th as interested in food as I use to be (food obsessions seem to have been replaced by sleep obsessions instead :) ) and I've gained only 3 pounds so far. I can take food or leave it, something I haven't experienced since my teen years. I'm just not really hungry and I'm not eating out of boredom or doing any emotional eating as I've always done. In fact I often have to make myself eat because I keep forgetting about it. I have no idea why food has lost it's appeal to me right now. Maybe it's because of pregnancy hormones or maybe because I'm taking tons of vitamins & my body isn't craving all the food it use to but whatever it is, I'm enjoying not being controlled by my compulsions for food. For nearly 20 years it's been an obsession and now food means almost nothing to me. Talk about getting a monkey off your back, it's so liberating! I only hope and pray that this continues. It would be a miracle to me if I could just have a normal relationship with food again. I want to be able to give my child or children a healthy, balanced approach to nutrition and to do so I know I really have to set a good example through my own eating habits. It would be a lot easier for me if food continues to just not matter as much. Maybe this baby has literally filled the emptiness inside me that led to all the compulsive eating. I can only hope, and also try to use this time to retrain my eating habits and the way I've been thinking about food my whole life. This is not an effect of pregnancy that I was expecting, but I'm thankful for it none the less.

Bra Awesomeness

Yesterday, after 5 years of badgering me, my lovely hubby came home early from work and drug me to a lingerie shop where they do bra fittings. It was a complete ambush. He knew if he gave me any warning I'd come up with ten million excuses why I couldn't go to get fitted so instead he just showed up and said we're going. Sometimes I guess I need him to be a bit bossy :). Ever since we've been married he's hated my bras and was sure I was wearing the wrong size. I couldn't really disagree with him since the bras were obviously not supportive enough and I often seemed to pour out of the top of the cups, yet I resisted change.  I knew that supportive, properly fitting bras would probably not be as comfy as my saggy, droopy, stretched out bras.  And Who wants some strange woman wedging you into a bazillion different bras and judging you? Unfortunately my bra situation had reached a crises point because our dog had gotten into the laundry and chewed through the straps on two of my bras and because of the pregnancy (and booby swelling that accompanies it) I really, really needed to find out my new bra size, and I had a feeling it wasn't going to be a size you can find easily in a Target or Wal-Mart.

So, off we went to the nearest Blythe lingerie store where my worst fears were justified. My salesgirl was a gorgeous, petite little 18 year old (my hubby joked he needed a fitting as well, she was that cute) and I nearly turned around and walked out at my first sight of her. When you're fast approaching 40, 4 months pregnant, and OUTRAGEOUSLY overweight who wants to strip naked with a teenage girl looking at you? I was brave though and faced my fears. It turned out my salesgirl couldn't have been sweeter or less judgemental. I was shocked by her knowledge and professional behavior; not really what I'd have expected from someone just out of high school who looked like a brunette barbie doll. In practically no time at all she'd sized me and found lots of lovely bras for me to try on. I'd been wearing a 44DD bra but it turns out that what I should have been wearing was a 40H! And for the support I needed I should have been in an underwire bra. I was amazed at the difference in the way the new bras lifted and supported me. It will take a bit of time to get used to wearing a tigher band and underwires but it's worth it. I should have less back pain now that I'm getting better support for my chest and I'm pretty sure my hubby likes how the new bras look :). All in all I highly recommend getting a bra fitting and splurging on excellent supportive bras, particularly if you're a big chested gal like me. Once again I must admit my wonderful hubby was completely 100% RIGHT, drat the man! :) I guess I should have listened to him years ago and gone for a fitting.Three cheers for perky, well supported breasts!!

P.S. Thanks Squilla for the great suggestion about talking on the phone and exercising from my last post. I think that's a perfect solution and I'm going to give it a try ASAP!!

Seriously distracted

Can a grown adult suddenly and out of nowhere develop ADD? Or is this yet another pregnancy side effect no one mentions? I have the attention span of a gnat right now. I'm restless, distracted, and easily irritated. My dog is driving me NUTS because she follows constantly at my heels and hovers right on top of me. Since I'm so restless and can't stick to one thing for more than a half second I find myself tripping over her constantly as I wander from one half completed activity to another. I have a ton of things I want to get done, from reading all the pregnancy books on the list my midwife gave to me to working on my baby keepsake book to writing here in my journal and yet I can't generate the patience to spend more than a minute or two on any task, and you can forget about me doing all the normal mundane tasks I should be doing such as housekeeping and laundry. I keep forgetting I put laundry in to wash and then stumble across it a day or so later to find that it's soured :(. The only things that calm my nerves are taking baths or sleeping but too many baths dries out my skin and too much sleep gives me headaches. I'm very restless and unfocused which is making me soooooo crabby!!! Right now I'm really wishing my Mom lived nearby. I miss going for walks and gossiping with her. I think that might just clear my head a bit but it's no fun to me if I have to walk alone. I need the distraction of someone to chat with. I'd try and drag my hubby our for a walk but he's not really much of a chatter either. I guess I'll just have to continue stomping around the house and cursing the dog. GRRR..... off to find some new project to half finish or a tv show to half watch. :)

Smug Pregnant Women :)

I hope I'm not too annoying now that I'm a smug pregnant lady!

Pregnant Women are Smug from Erika Lindhome on Vimeo.

Feeling Better

Yippee!! After a full week my migraine has finally gone away and thanks to a lovely lady who posted a reference at a parenting site for a certified nurse midwife in my area I just might have solved my problem of finding a better care provider as well (thank you Aimee!).

We went for a hospital tour on Sunday evening and we were both impressed with St. Francis Medical Center. It's quite a bit nicer than any of the hospitals we've ever been in. The rooms seem very modern, clean, well maintained and spacious. I really liked the friendliness of the staff. They encourage rooming in so the baby will be with us in our room most of the time and my husband can stay in the room as well. Everyone says it's one of the best places to have a baby in the Richmond area so all in all we're really pleased that our baby will be born there and we're lucky it's just a short drive down the road.

It is so GREAT to finally feel human again! My morning sickness is nearly gone and now that the headache has left too I feel almost like my old self. I still get a bit nauseous late in the evening when I take my prenatal vitamins and I get tired very easily but overall everything is much better. Life is good :). Maybe now I will have the energy and motivation to make some graphic designs to print on onesies & t-shirts for the baby or even work on a craft project.

Always do your own reasearch

I'm actually typing this while wearing sunglasses because I'm on the 5th day of dealing with a migraine. The light from the computer screen makes my head throb unbearably but I'm so sick of lying in a dark room vegetating while my head feels like it will explode. I suppose a migraine won't kill me (though it does occasionally make me wish for death ;) ) so I'm up and trying to accomplish a few little things here and there.

I'm annoyed and disappointed with my obstetrician right now. Yesterday I had my monthly check in with her and my husband mentioned that I've had a continuous migraine for most of this week. I told her that I have perscriptions for Imitrex and Treximet but that I'd read they were class C drugs which aren't approved for pregnancy. She agreed that I couldn't take those and immediately said she'd write me a perscription for Fioricet, a drug I hadn't heard of. I asked if it was approved for pregnant women and if there would be any side affects or anything I should be concerned over. I'd already told her that I was trying to be as healthy and natural (drug free) as possible during my pregnancy and delivery. I don't even drink or eat anything with caffeine now. She said it's the only migraine medication pregnant women should take and that there weren't any side effects, other than possibly making me or the baby sleepy. Sounded good to me so my hubby and I got the prescription filled and I took one of the pills immediately with dinner, (it didn't help at all with my migraine).

This morning I woke up and the migraine is still throbbing away in my temple. As I made my husband his breakfast I pulled out the Fioricet perscription bottle and started reading all the various tiny print lables and half hidden in one corner is a label stating DO NOT TAKE IF PREGNANT, NURSING, OR THINKING OF BECOMING PREGNANT. This of course sent alarm bells racing through me so I immediately got on line and looked this drug up.All the websites I found said this drug is a class C drug (just like my Imitrex) and should be avoided by pregnant women because there haven't been enough studies done to say for certain how it will affect a fetus. It should only be used with extreme caution and as a last resort. On top of that the drug has a barbituate in it which can be habit forming and there have been cases where pregnant mothers have taken this medication in the last months of their preganancy and their newborn babies actually went through drug withdrawals after birth. My obstetrician said absolutely nothing about any of this when she prescribed the medication for me, even though I asked her if it was completely safe and even though she knew I wasn't interested in taking any class C drugs. Either she just  didn't listen to me,didn't care about my opinions, or didn't really know anything about the drug. This isn't a drug I would take even if I weren't pregnant simply because it can become habit forming. Addiction runs rampant through my family and I try not to take anything that could become a habit. I don't even drink, mainly for that reason. My doctor should have gone through all the side effects and possibilities so I could make an informed decision about taking the drug. Maybe for some people the benefits outweigh the risks, but not for me. And if I were going to take a risky drug I'd take my Imitrex which I know actually works for me.

Overall this has really made me lose faith in my obstetrician. This is the doctor I have to rely on should any emergencies come up and now I feel as if I can't trust her judgement because she didn't give me all the information I needed to make an informed choice.  I'll probably have to start looking for a new doctor which will be a pain. It's a shame to because she seemed nice enough and I liked her staff alot as well. Now I'll have to try and do a little research and see if I can come up with a doctor who will be better suited to me, someone who will take me seriously and talk to me honestly.

All this reminds me that doctor's are not Gods, they are as human and fallible as the rest of us. You should never just blindly follow your doctor's advice without looking into things yourself. Only you can say what you are comfortable with and willing to put into or do to your body. Maybe I'm overly cautious but I don't want to take some possibly risky drug now just because my doctor says it's okay and then find out 5 or 15 years from now that it's caused some problem for myself or my baby. I'll just deal with the migraine pain as best I can. It probably won't kill me, it'll just make me miserable and crabby. Everyone should feel really sorry for my husband :). Please send healing thoughts my way. I could really use them.